Opaque Windows, Transparent Walls
by TormentOfSouls
Summary: Cloud thought he was done. He swore he was done with all of this, and yet Aerith just had to drag him back into contact with those two silver-haired, pretty-faced young men who would love nothing more than to rip his heart out. SLASH! A bit of OOCness.


Chapter One: Contemplations

**Title: **Opaque Windows, Transparent Walls

**Warnings: **Slash (explicit), language

**Summary:** Cloud thought he was done. He swore he was done with all of this, and yet Aerith just _had_ to drag him back into contact with those two silver-haired, pretty-faced young men who would love nothing more than to rip his heart out.

**AN:** Hello, beloved readers! Name's Torment, and this'll be my first fic uploaded to FFNet. Now, I'd like to warn some of you: this **will** be slash, there **will** be some violence and language, and some of my characters **will **be OOC. If this bothers you, I'd prefer you save us both the trouble and leave. If you do decide to stay anyways or hate this fic for other reasons, I will not beat you down for flames. I'd rather constructive criticism, but… *shrugs* Anywho, the basis of this fic is a healing process for both Cloud and the brothers, so main focus is on them. Other characters will play a part, but not a very significant one.

**Disclaimer: **I will never own the lovely stories that make up the Final Fantasy VII Compilation, however much I would like to.

**88888888**

Deep in the Forgotten City, a beast raced among the trees and let loose a low, rumbling purr. The sun glinted off its smooth black coat and glittering silver claws. Astride the creature was a lean figure, cloaked entirely in black, with a bright golden mane.

As the duo grew closer to the center of the City, the beast's vocal cords gave out, and it skidded reluctantly to a stop. The man slid from his mount and slipped from his black jacket, then threw aside a pair of darkly-tinted sunglasses and stepped cautiously forward. Ahead of him, a deep lake gleamed unnaturally dark in comparison to the brightness of the day.

When he reached the water he kneeled and pulled a pouch from his side. From the bag he drew five fresh flowers, their petals still brightly-colored.

While he worked, the man left his back to the forest, trusting that no others had followed his trail.

Unbeknownst to him, the man had a watcher. Its eyes shone brightly from the shadows and its skin, pale though it was, had been muddied and so failed to give it away. The soul eyed him warily for a while, before limping back into the brush.

**88888888**

Cloud stared off into the trees, his blue eyes glazed. _I thought I accepted that I was forgiven, so why can't I forget? _He doodled in the dirt idly. _They are all getting angry with me– especially Tifa. _Cloud sighed in exasperation. _Sometimes I think even Vincent is finished dealing with me and my troubles. _He frowned. He _had _thought he was getting better– everyone had. He had spent more time at Seventh Heaven with Tifa and the kids than he had out on Fenrir. He hadn't done many out-of-town deliveries, deciding instead to do the quick ones around Edge that didn't take much time. Hell, he had even been on good terms with Rufus!

But then…

He had taken a long job, one that took him all the way out to a little town past Gongaga. The delivery itself had gone fine (except for the client insisting to take him out to dinner as payment) but on the way back, Fenrir had popped a tire and he hadn't had a spare on him. The only town nearby was Gongaga, so Cloud had set his shoulders and, with dragging feet and great reluctance, walked into Zack's hometown.

Moving around the streets had given him a strange sense of not-déjà vu. He would remember something– whether it be the way this friend's house was or who ran that store– but then he would remember _again _that he was Cloud, not Zack, and that he had never been here before in his life.

But then, of course, he had turned down another road, and the cycle had begun again.

After he finally had found the mechanic's shop (Zack's memories _insisted _it was on the other side of town, in a now residential area) and had haggled a reasonable price ("But I don't _want _three tires, I only need the one!") Cloud had rushed out of town, intent on leaving as soon as possible. He would definitely need Tifa to mix him a few drinks as soon as he got back (he ignored the fact that he couldn't actually get drunk. It was nice to be able to dream).

He had just turned the final street corner before he was home free when he crashed into someone, knocking them both to the ground. Blinking dazedly, it took Cloud a few tries to focus on the hand being offered to him.

"C'mon, sonny, I don't have all day," a stern, but gentle voice spoke up.

Cloud took the hand gratefully, and, upon standing, looked down onto the face of the kind stranger.

He froze.

Gazing up at him had been the face of his mother. _My mother? _Cloud remembered thinking. _My mother's dead, she can't be here… but she is. How is my mother here? What happened to her hair? Mother…? Mumma? Why're you here? What're you doing shouldn't you be in Nibelheim shouldn't you be running __**shouldn't you be dead?!**_

"Son, you all right?" The woman's lavender eyes had stared at him with worry.

Cloud had bolted.

It had taken him only a day of wild driving after that to reach the bar, but he had still been nearly comatose three days later.

When he had finally gotten up, his mind had been in total relapse. Tifa had tried to understand– really, he knew she had– but his apathy frustrated her to the point of cracking. She still had it in her head that she and Cloud would get together with Denzel and Marlene as their pseudo children and they could be a happy little family. When Cloud refuted that, she had snapped and told him to get his act together or get out.

So Cloud crashed with Reno.

A strange arrangement yes, but one that worked, oddly enough. Reno didn't spend enough time in the apartment to get on Cloud's nerves, which also meant that he had plenty of time to re-sort the memories. And when Reno _was_ at home, he wasn't doing much talking, nor was Cloud doing much thinking.

Lack of pillow talk aside, Cloud's mind had actually been improving since the beginning of his stay with Reno, almost six months ago. Reno hypothesized that all of Tifa's expectations had been doing more harm than good, and that her presence had been putting unconscious stress on him the entire time. He thought that she represented a time in which he was weaker and unable to care for those he loved. He thought she symbolized all of his failures.

(After thatrant, Cloud had stared for a full minute before declaring quietly that he was _never_ going to underestimate Reno again.)

That realization had put more strain on Tifa and Cloud's relationship than it could handle. As a result, he was currently sort-of estranged from his friends, as seeing any of them undoubtedly meant seeing Tifa as well.

Cloud sighed heavily. _When I promised I would live for you, Zack, _he thought with sardonic humor, _I never thought it would be so __**hard.**_

Cloud shook his head and ran a tanned hand through his spiky hair. The movement brushed away the bangs that had been hanging on the side of his face and freed his peripheral vision. He turned his head to look back at the water, but a flash of silver to his left caught his eye.

Cloud tensed. _Stupid, stupid! _He scolded himself. _Never let your guard down! _He looked down at the water, determinedly keeping his moves smooth and slow. Leaning forward, he adjusted his legs so he was crouching over the shallows, prepared to spring.

When he caught movement again, he leapt into action.

It took mere milliseconds for him to have First Tsurugi's main blade out and ready, his stance taut and blade pointed at–

A wolf…?

The creature cocked its head challengingly. Cloud snorted. He lowered Tsurugi but didn't relax. "Well I ain't fighting you, that's for sure. Gotten enough near-scars from your cousins in Nibelheim to know it's not worth it."

The wolf's tongue lolled and his tail wagged. He raised it proudly and trotted to a place not six feet from the poised warrior, then plopped down on his haunches.

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "Rather friendly, aren't you? Have you been watching me angst this whole time?"

The wolf's strangely-colored eyes stared at him mournfully. _Are they… purple? _"Hey, don't look at me like that. I've got quite a lot to be upset about, and not a lot to make me happy. I mean, I've got Reno, but he's really my only friend at the moment– oh, wipe that look off your face, he's _just _a friend, and I'm too terrified of Tifa to go and search out the others. I guess I could go travel a little while…" The wolf growled. Cloud crouched down and eyed him questioningly. "What? You don't think that's a good idea? I mean, I think it'd be fun. Get to see new places, be by myself for a while–" a loud snarl ripped from the wolf.

Cloud sat back, puzzled. First, this– supposedly mindless– creature comes up, friendly as a begging street dog, and shows no fear whatsoever. Then, it seems to understand what he says, and now it didn't want him to go off on his own. _What a strange wolf._

Cloud ignored the little voice screaming in the back of his mind that, perhaps, he _had _gone insane if he was discussing his issues with a beast.

"Well what do you suggest then?" Cloud asked, half-joking. The part of him that wasn't scolding him for his foolishness wasn't really surprised when, instead of ignoring the question, the wolf stood, shook out his fur, and loped to the side of the clearing. There he stood, looking back at Cloud and yipping pointedly when he refused to move.

Cloud sighed and slid Tsurugi back into its sheath. He didn't know why he was planning on going with the wolf, nor why he had told it all his troubles in the first place. Perhaps it was something in those eyes…

_Why is it always me? _He thought pitifully as he followed the gray body into the surrounding forest. _Why do I always get into the strange situations?_

**88888888**

Cloud followed the strange creature far into the forest. Farther, certainly, than he had ever gone before. The large, white trees that were distinctive to the Forgotten City were thinning now, the space between them interspersed with smaller, greener versions. The deadness of the City, however, still remained; not a single living thing besides the wolf, the trees, and Cloud himself could be seen.

As they walked, Cloud studied the wolf. It was large, but lean, and he wondered what, if anything, it had been eating. There couldn't have been any reasonably-sized game for miles, and yet the wolf was still in good shape. Its markings, though, were closer to those of one of the Nibelheim wolves Cloud had mentioned earlier than any of the ones that lived nearby.

That, paired with the oddly-colored eyes and the extreme intelligence, made the wolf an anomaly.

Cloud wondered if this was another victim of Hojo's sadistic curiosity.

"So, where are we going, wolf?" Cloud asked. He needed to make some kind of noise, the quiet was becoming oppressive, and it made Cloud twitchy.

The wolf turned its head and gave him a look. It said clearly _shut up or I will make you do so._

Cloud raised his hands in surrender, and the rest of the walk was made in silence.

**88888888**

The wolf paused.

_Finally. _Cloud bemoaned the loss of time. It was already nearly sunset, and they had been walking all day. _Reno will be wondering where I am._

Cloud nearly opened his mouth to speak, but something stopped him. There was something– some presence–

_There! _Cloud focused all his senses through the brush and into a small clearing directly ahead of them. There was a strong, overwhelming stench of unwashed bodies, but underlying it was the tangy scent of healing herbs, old smoke, and the nauseating, metallic odor of blood. He pulled his shirt up to cover his nose and started forward, but the wolf slipped into his path and nearly tripped him.

"What do you want now? Someone up there needs help!" He whispered with exasperation. The wolf curled its lip back to show sharp, white teeth. Cloud threw his hands into the air. "Fine. What do you want? Me not to go in there?" The lips slid back further. "Me to go in there?" The teeth glimmered. "…Me to go see who's in there?" The silent snarl subsided.

Cloud huffed. "Well why didn't you just say so?" He _swore _the wolf rolled his eyes.

Giving one last suspicious glare to his much-too-innocent looking companion, the blonde swordsman slipped silently through the undergrowth to the edge of the clearing. His view of the entire clearing was blocked by a tall sapling, but from his place he could see a rather pathetic-looking burnt out fire, a trampled pile of herbs used to treat nausea and fever, a lot of scuff marks made by the dragging of something heavy, and a trail of blood leading too…

Cloud frowned and shifted. He could see two pairs of feet, but he could get a better view if he leaned– just– so–

Cloud's eyes widened to huge proportions, and he almost fell into the clearing. _Oh shit, _he swore, and sprinted as wildly as possible down the small hill back to his new friend. Panting slightly with adrenaline, Cloud hissed venomously, "Why didn't you tell me you were taking me to _Kadaj _and _Yazoo?!_"

**88888888**

The wolf– _bastard, _Cloud yelled in his mind– just sat there, calm as ever. Cloud took a deep breath to steady himself before he began strangling the creature. He opened his mouth to lecture the wolf on the importance of warning people before leading them to their (presumed dead) enemies, but was interrupted by the misty feeling he usually associated with Aerith's appearances.

Cloud was alarmed. Aerith hadn't spoken to him since Sephiroth's last reincarnation, where he was aided by the Remnants. _Shoot, _thought Cloud glumly, as the trees were replaced by a field of flowers, _I guess that means I wasn't hallucinating._

Aerith's light giggle rang through the air. Cloud's anger instantly drained away, and he lay back among the flowers and relaxed. "Are you not happy to see me?" Aerith asked sweetly. There was a hint of a pout in her words.

Cloud shook his head. "Never," he whispered hotly. Aerith giggled again. "Aerith, Kadaj and Yazoo…"

Aerith moved his head so it was resting on her lap, and her soft sigh rustled his hair. "They were rejected by the Lifestream," she said solemnly. "They were told they could not enter until they redeemed themselves."

Cloud frowned even as Aerith carded her fingers through his hair. "What about the other one… Loz?"

She sighed again, much deeper this time. "He was accepted on account of mental instability."

Cloud raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Seriously? On account of– how does that even work?! And then shouldn't the other two be accepted as well? I mean, none of them were really right in the head to begin with."

"Now now Cloud," Aerith chided with amusement, "Just because someone has different beliefs than you doesn't make them insane."

Cloud snorted and muttered something about mothers.

"But to answer your question, the Cetra decided that Loz's mental state was so regressed that it impaired his ability to make decisions, so he just followed his brothers' lead. Because Kadaj and Yazoo were deemed to have acted of their own accord, they had to accept the consequences."

He was silent as she began to hum and braid one of his longer locks. The entire thing screamed 'hidden motive'. The Cetra had accepted _Sephiroth, _there was no way that the two Remnants had received a harsher punishment than their precursor.

"So what am I supposed to do?" He asked finally. She gave a questioning hum as she finished off the braid. "Well you didn't bring me here to just tell me that," he elaborated, "And I'm almost positive the wolf was you, too."

Aerith smiled. "Well, I can tell you one thing: the wolf was definitely not me, but you _are _close."

Cloud's brow furrowed. "But who…?" _Lavender eyes, like those flowers on the street corner, like the rare streak in the sunset, like Zack's mother's eyes– _His own sky blue eyes widened. "No way…" Aerith grinned. "Oh, I am _so _going to beat his ass when I die."

Aerith laughed so hard that it shook through her stomach and into his head. Her carefree happiness made it hard to hold onto his anger. "I'll hold you to that," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "But Cloud…" he looked straight into her green gaze– _a lot like the lifestream,_ he noticed faintly– "You're right," she admitted, "I do need you to do something." She took a deep breath, "I need you to look after Yazoo and Kadaj for me."

"WHAT?!" Cloud screeched, shooting up and just barely avoiding smacking into Aerith's chin with his forehead.

Aerith grabbed his hands. "I need you to watch them, guide them. Without someone to do so, they'll end up living and dying again and again because _they don't understand_, Cloud. They don't know how to be human." He avoided looking at her, knowing, without a doubt, that if he saw her now, with her wide, pleading green eyes and the slightly jutting lip that he wouldn't be able to–

_Damn. _His wince made Aerith smile. _I peeked._

He let out an explosive sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. "Fine," he muttered grumpily. "But I expect to be able to avoid them when I die."

Aerith gave him a knowing look, and Cloud eyed the twinkle in those circles of green suspiciously. "If that's still what you want when you die," she winked at him, and then the scene began to fade.

"Wait, Aerith! AERITH! What do you mean?!"

The flowers disappeared, but Aerith's voice spoke softly in his ear, _"Be gentle with them. They are broken glass, shattered but sharp. You are the same, just of a different color. Perhaps, together, you will make a lovely stained glass window." _Her clear, delighted giggle echoed, though the lifestream image was long gone.

**88888888**

**Chapter one completed. Not quite sure if I'll keep this the way it is as I'm very distracted currently by my monster of a HP/Naruto crossover, but oh well. I figure it's sat around long enough. Now I am very aware that Cloud is OOC so far, but I like to think that with the threat of Seph gone and his **_**finally**_** relinquishing his guilt that he'd be a bit lighter, a bit more like he was when Zack was alive. He also was a bit more relaxed because he subconsciously recognized Zack within the wolf, but of course all of that'll disappear with his interactions with Kadaj and Yazoo.**

**- **_**Torment**_


End file.
